Maternal Retirement!

I am no longer a maternal person. My children have slowly exhausted all of my maternal feelings over the years – replacing them mostly with exhaustion and frustration! Seriously, I loved having babies and children – growing up I wanted nothing more than my own family. I wouldn’t be without any of my three children but lets face it, bringing children up is hard work.

My girls are 20 and 18 and have moved out. Granted, they are only down the road, but they are living independently. My son is 13 and growing up fast. All three are decent human beings. I didn’t expect the girls to be living independently so quickly but, I like it. My nest feels far from empty but it feels manageable and a lot more peaceful! I see my daughters frequently, still get to feed them, nag them and help them. My son has not yet given me a sleepless night and I am hopeful that a teenage son is going to be much easier than a pair of teenage daughters! My house is tidy and organised, my belongings stay where I leave them. I get to sleep all through the night and can go wherever I want in a split second. My things are not “borrowed” and I know who is in my house when I am not there – no-one! For me, there are so many plus’s to older children.

I can’t imagine starting again now with a newborn. I can honestly say that the thought fills me with horror. I have several friends who have had late babies and “surprise” babies and while I am pleased for them I am also so pleased it’s not me! I didn’t always feel like this. There was once a time that I couldn’t have imagined not wanting another baby. My girls came easily and were both very good babies. My son didn’t come easy and then only after the use of fertility drugs making him extra precious. I think we knew then that we should quit while we were ahead. And, they were always enough. I never wanted more. As they have grown, I have enjoyed the independence that has come with them growing up. As they have grown up, so have I.

And yet, I still find babies being born the most amazing thing in the world. I can and do sit and watch birth programme after birth programme and enjoy every one. It never fails to bring a tear to my eye when the baby finally arrives. I just don’t think there is anything more beautiful. As well as the numerous TV births that I have watched I have been lucky enough to witness three “real” births and can honestly say that each one was incredible.

So, I still want to see babies being born – I just don’t want them to be mine 🙂 !!!

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6 Responses to Maternal Retirement!

  1. Marg says:

    Kelly you should start writing books, you tell a lovely story and your very lucky the way your children have progressed especially being so independent and supplying you with a grandchild, i am well jel 😦 I am proud of my 3 girls and have never had a moments bother from them (once their father was out of the picture and i had control of bringing them up) but the one thing i am missing is a grandchild but i’m keeping my fingers crossed 🙂

  2. Thank you Marg. A book …?! Maybe one day, when I live in Tenerife and can sit on my balcony in the sunshine all day while I write! I hope that you get your grand child soon – I really love being a Nana 🙂 xx

  3. Chris Jopp says:

    Oh how I agree with you! My two children left home awhile ago to move in with their partners, both now have children and I am relishing being a nanny! My own children were and are good, well behaved and hardworking individuals but when they left home I felt a sense of relief – no empty nest syndrome! I’ve done my job as a parent, brought them up and seen them off into the big wide world.

    I was proud to have brought up two children who were able to go into the world and although not necessarily be high achievers in the money stakes, have achieved so much in other ways. They are both amazing parents themselves and I am so proud of them.

    One of my favourite programmes is One Born Every Minute and I just love to see the look on the faces of the parents when that small bundle is placed in their arms. When I held my first grandchild nearly 3 years ago, I wept with joy and the love that you feel for a grandchild surpasses everything you have felt before. I now have two grand children and another on the way and a teenage step grandson. I feel truly blessed to have these little people in my life and to have them visit for the day is wonderful but exhausting.

  4. Ah Chris – that is lovely. Money isn’t everything – far from it. Children need time a whole lot more than money. I think so anyway. I hope all goes well with the new little one and I look forwards to hearing that he/she has arrived! I like it when all mine go home at the end of a visit also!! x

  5. Never a truer word, children need TIME, It saddens me to see children stuck in front of TVs or on expensive technical equipment. My family is grown up and the times they remember best are the fun things we did together as a family. Although we are far apart we still get together often. But while I love them dearly I am also grateful I have a tidy and quiet house most of the time, they are always welcome to visit and I wouldn’t swap even if it that ends up looking like a bomb site and takes me a week to clean once they are back in the UK.

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